the big question

i always say that things are crazy. sometimes it's my way of yada-yada-ing over daily crap. other times, it means that i've been running rampant. the last three days have been literally crazy stupid. i was physically attacked by a client on monday the 10th. i've been dizzy and disoriented since. on lots of pain meds. yes, i have a concussion. the second in less than four months. not happy about that. feel like crap. not thinking too clearly. but here's the skinny:

background on client: he's been with my agency for many years, and i've worked with him since i've been there. i've never had any real problems with him, and i don't think there have been at the agency. he has schizophrenia and is believed to have mild mental retardation. he is also forensic, which means that he was tried for a crime and found not guilty by reason of insanity. he has been living in the community for several years and has a forensic case monitor who makes sure that he meets his conditions of release. he is with my agency because he is forensic and required to be by his conditions of release. he lives in a group home (rcf - residential care facility) that monitors his medications and takes care of all his basic needs. he doesn't do anything all day except sleep and smoke. so i just drop in to see him when i can during the week. i see him once a week, and two of my co-workers see him once a week. it's just a home visit, he hardly ever needs to go anywhere.

so on monday...

i went over to the rcf to see him. the nurse got him out of his room since i refuse to go back there (have to pass through the indoor smoking area to get to his room, and it is way too smokey for me). so he came out, and seemed to be in a good mood. he was smiling and laughing. we went downstairs to the open kitchen area to talk and review paperwork. we were sitting at a table across from each other. he was laughing a lot and talking - his speech is really hard to understand, so i just nod along. i was trying to keep him focused on our paperwork - we were reviewing his quarterly progress report. he reached out to take my hand, and said that he wanted to hold my hand while he told me something. i said that it was not appropriate to hold my hand, but he could tell me whatever he wanted. he started talking about being in the military (we're not sure if he ever really was). i tried to redirect him to the paperwork. he began jerking his head around, a sign that he is symptomatic. then he started saying that he knew i had something to tell him and that i was hiding something. very calmly, i said that i didn't know what he was talking about. he said that i did, and asked again what i was hiding. again, calmly, i said that there was nothing i was hiding and didn't know what he was talking about. then he looked at me, and threw a punch that missed my face. i jumped up from the table and started running away, screaming. he's tall, about 6'5", and has long arms. he grabbed my neck and just started hitting the back of my head - which is probably all he could reach based on our height difference. he was just punching my head. he got in at least four punches. at one point i guess i put my right hand up to my head to try to protect it from the blows, but he got my hand instead. my right hand is swollen and bruised. someone (later found out it was the owner of the rcf) pulled him off me. i was hyperventilating and generally freaking out. i saw them getting him upstairs towards his room. he turned around and punched one of the nurses. i think he also punched another resident.

whew. so they called the police. i called his forensic case monitor, who is aptly named dick. just wanted to let him know what happened. he started telling me that i needed to get the client into metropolitan psychiatric center (mpc). i told him that i wasn't going to do anything at that moment bcs i had just been attacked by the client and was freaking out. i hung up on him. called my supervisor to let her know. among other things, she told me that if dick called me back to tell dick that he needed to do his job and take care of the client, i was no longer his social worker, and dick could call her if he had any questions. so when he eventually called me back, that's what i told him. gave the police my statement. my neck was bleeding from when he grabbed me, and there's a nice scratch there. the rcf cleaned it up. and the police took the client to mpc, where he is most likely going to stay. talked with my supervisor today and they are trying to get his conditions of release revoked so that he will not be allowed to live in the community.

once i was calm, and my client was contained, i drove myself from grand and page out to mo bap hospital on ballas. could've gone to st. mary's, but mo bap is so much nicer. asked for a tetanus shot since he had broken the skin, and i know how often he bathes (about once every two weeks), and there's always crud under his nails. i knew that i had a tetanus shot in the last ten years, but didn't think i had one in the last five. and figured it couldn't hurt. although it does now!

they did a ct scan and xrays of my hand. the triage nurses and ct tech remembered me from november. everyone wanted to know if i was going to be looking for a new job. so did my doctor today.

so that's what happened. my last 48 hours or so. my doctor has me on bed rest until at least next monday, possibly returning to work on tuesday. moving around isn't too much fun right now. i'm doing pretty well on the couch. but i get dizzy easily, and am wobbly. hubby bubby's been amazing. he met me at the hospital yesterday. i dragged him out of a recording session. he's been picking up prescriptions for me. i just sent him to the grocery store for me. he came back and made me dinner - granted it was spaghetti-o's.

i'm just hanging out on the couch now. my doctor was really concerned about these concussions and me not doing anything in the next few days that could exacerbate the condition. they didn't find anything on the ct scan, which is good. so i'm to take it easy, and not do too much for the next week. so that's my plan. a friend asked if i wanted to go to the zoo with her and her daughter tomorrow, which was really sweet, but not going to happen. i can barely walk a straight line right now. not that i can usually walk a straight line... but like i said, i'm getting dizzy easily and not thinking too clearly. i'm moving and thinking slowly.

so the question that everyone, including myself, keeps asking: am i going to find a new job? i'm not sure right now. i love what i do. i think i'm good at it. i like my agency. but i can't ignore the 2 concussions in 4 months. it's dangerous. duh. gotta consider the future. and head injuries aren't good. okay - just read the last few sentences. i am groggy from the meds, hee hee. i know that i need to do something. probably not a good idea to make these choices while on heavy meds. so i'm just going to take it easy and not really worry about it right now. the meds mess with my emotions anyway. start crying for seemingly no reason. sometimes it's bcs of the pain. other times, it's not for anything.

uhg! that's my story. gotta be done with the typing for now. later.